Team America (/England/Catholic) Song, Bound to Offend Someone

Stuttaford in the Corner linked to the following 7/7/05 tribute to England: For Our British Friends. Do not click on it if you are offended by a certain versatile four-letter word that is often thought to be Anglo-Saxon, but is actually a Dutch borrowing; in fact, you should skip this post. The tribute is the Team America song, with "England" replacing "America". So, sing with me:

Benny Hill--**** Yeah!

Maggie Thatcher--**** Yeah!

James Bond--**** Yeah!

Dead parrots pining for the fjords--**** Yeah!

Longbows--**** Yeah!

Cheerfully adopting words from other languages, so English bears the postmark of every place we've ever visited--**** Yeah!

Fish and chips---**** Yeah!

Churchill--**** Yeah!

Well, you get the idea. Though longbows--at least those really great ones at Agincourt--were Welch, and the best James Bond was played by a Scotsman. I figure the whole UK counts.

I told Uncle Pookie about this, and happened to mention "weird hats".

Uncle Pookie: We need to make one for the Vatican.
Me: [pause] SWISS GUARDS!
U.P.: **** Yeah! Bulletproof Pope-mobile! **** Yeah! Moral authority over billions of people! **** Yeah! Tall hats! **** Yeah!...Apostolic succession! **** Yeah!