36 Things You Don't Know About Me

A long time ago I saw where a blogger or two had celebrated her birthday by giving a list of "X Things You Don't Know About Me", where X equals the number of completed years since you were born. It is not my birthday, but, as I think it says on my profile I'm a Scorpio, it will be no surprise that my next birthday is soon. Soon I will no longer be able to claim I am in my mid-thirties. At thirty-seven you've pretty much made it to your late thirties, and even if you do keep saying mid-thirties you have only one more year to do it, because thirty-eight is definitely late thirties. So here's my list, before I have to add another item to it.

1. I have never gotten a traffic ticket. (But I have been pulled over--twice when I first started driving, once a couple of years ago; the first two were due more to excessive caution than youthful exuberance.)

2. Number of high school classes I deliberately failed: two.

3. Three is probably my favorite number. (For another candidate see below.)

4. The smell of fresh gardenias always seems pleasant to me at first whiff, but a moment later makes me feel faintly nauseated.

5. Secret shame: I actually like that old Bette Davis movie, Now, Voyager, and have seen it twice.

6. Gin and tonic is my favorite drink.

7. I have been known to utter the phrase "the hegemony of the American lawn" on multiple occasions. And always in rant mode.

8. I used to have a snake phobia, and I was cured of it in a dream.

9. My sister and I are always recognized as sisters and have even been mistaken for twins. We don't think we look alike.

10. I wear a size 10 shoe and a size 10 ring. But not a size 10 dress.

11. I have a charm bracelet and the charm I chose to represent my husband is a knight in shining (more or less) armor.

12. People who see me with Uncle Pookie and ask how long we have been married inevitably express surprise at the answer--twelve years in December; apparently we talk to each other too much and hold hands too often to look like the bitter old married people we are.

13. I find Benny Hill hilarious.

14. I prefer to carry a golf umbrella, rather than a normal or small one.

15. I don't like to wear pants, skirts, or dresses without pockets; it seems the older I get the more annoying it becomes to have to carry a purse.

16. I always put my keys in my right pocket and my wallet in my left pocket, on the grounds that I need ready access to my keys but it's not a bad idea to have it take a moment to get to my money.

17. In my early teens, when I read about boys and girls carrying books differently, I immediately began carrying mine like a boy. I have made other, occasional experiments with using "male" body language.

18. I think the so-called white chocolate is an abomination before God. (Okay, not really, but it is foul and unnatural.)

19. I joined Mensa twice and let my membership lapse both times.

20. My favorite of the "big three" haijin (haiku poets), Basho, Buson, and Issa, is probably Issa; Basho might be the best, but I feel much closer to Issa.

21. I feel sorry for every ugly dog I see and part of me wants to adopt nearly every one.

22. I'm the only non-gamer I know who refers to a normal die as a D6--this is from hanging out with a gamer for, let's see, sixteen years now.

23. If we leave out desserts that involve chocolate, the most delicious dessert I've ever had was sweet potato cobbler. It's something my mother bought from a local woman a few times when I was a teenager. I've never encountered it anywhere else, but it trumped even cheesecake, which is my top dessert nowadays.

24. I love the smell of almond flavoring so much I've considered wearing it as cologne.

25. I was prone to carsickness as a child, and every once in a while now I will get a faint touch of it--or every few years a full blown case of it. It's not pleasant or something I would want to pass on to a child, but on the plus side, I threw up so much as a child I can do it without pain and with only minimal discomfort; I figure vomiting comes up more often in most lives than any astronaut-type activities which the motionsickness rules out, so I'm ahead. (Yes, that nasty pun was intended.)

26. I try to keep crystallised ginger in my glove compartment for nausea, but I find I want a sweet-with-bite taste far more often than I get nauseated.

27. I am unaccountably fond of the number twenty-seven.

28. I am blessed with an excellent digestive system, which I have abused mightily for over thirty years.

29. I used to be able to read French well enough to enjoy French haiku online, but these days I'm doing good to remember what Parlez-vous anglais? means.

30. I have a St. Martin de Porres medal on my keyring, which is a simply designed Bacardi Limon freebie; I have never actually tasted Bacardi Limon.

31. I was baptized on the Pentecost vigil (i.e. the eve of the Feast of Pentecost). Coincidentally, I was recently asked if I'm a Pentecostal, which surprised, then amused me. I guess it was because my hair, which could now be considered waist-length, was hair-sticked into a huge bun, and I appeared to have no makeup on.

32. I ascribe to the "if somebody compliments your makeup, it's no compliment" school of thought, at least in most situations. But I did have some fun with dramatic, '80s style eye makeup back in the '80s.

33. Like Gilda Radner, I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch--also, what doesn't cause pain or more than very minor discomfort. So no pointy-toed shoes, no tight clothes, and no eyebrow plucking. I'm also anti-excruciating boredom, so no tanning and no endless filing, buffing, and painting of my fingernails.

34. I sing very badly, but I enjoy singing, especially filk and novelty sing-a-long type songs; I know all the words to quite a few songs like "I Shot Bambi's Mother" and "The Scotsman".

35. What's in my car CD player: Aaron Neville's Believe. Near Christmas I like to put in a Handel CD I have, that includes extensive selections from his Messiah.

36. I've seen every Ranma 1/2 TV show and OAV, and the Ranma 1/2 movie.

If 36 items just isn't enough Auntie Suzanne for you (which I find very hard to believe), try this list. Oh, and BTW, my mentioning I'm a Scorpio should not be taken as an endorsement of astrology; besides the fact that astrology is a pseudo-science, divination is forbidden to Jews and Christians and so as a Catholic I usually try to avoid even the appearance of it. But that doesn't change the fact that I can remember things I picked up years ago or the fact that, if you give Blogger your birthdate, it enters the astrological signs in your profile automatically. It also doesn't mean I don't still smile at certain jokes, such as, Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Why change it? We LIKE the dark.

[Edited a few entries 10/28/06, but I'm confident I left in enough typos, questionable grammar, and rambling to leave it obvious I needed sleep when I wrote this.]

The Bad Catholic's Guide to Good Living (and another recommendation for better Catholics)

The Bad Catholic's Guide to Good Living, by John Zmirak & Denise Matychowiak. ISBN 0-8245-2300-8

Growing up I remained untouched by anti-Catholic prejudice. I did hear the merest handful of mildly anti-Catholic things, but for one reason and another--I was a child and liked the Easter bunny, I thought one story was logically inconsistent and so must be a misunderstanding, etc.--they had no effect on me. But I did develop a kind of stereotype of Catholics all on my own--namely, an idea that Catholics were apt to have a sense of humor about their religion. As best I can remember, I first got this notion as a teenager while sitting in a hospital waiting room in Jackson one day. A Catholic priest came in to talk to some people who were waiting and after some chit chat I overheard him tell them the joke about the drive-thru confessional (motto: toot-n-tell or go to hell), which made me have to suppress the urge to giggle behind my magazine. Now, I can't say I ever thought much about this notion of mine--it was just a sort of general, vague expectation that got some confirmation now and then. And I don't think it's any more accurate than your average stereotype; in other words, I'm sure I'd have no problem finding plenty of joyless Catholics who'd be right at home delivering a hellfire and damnation sermon in a James Joyce story, if I went looking for them. But who wants to look for them?* Let's just remind ourselves that Merrie Olde England was Catholic England and move on.

The writers of The Bad Catholic's Guide to Good Living obviously have a great love and respect for Catholicism and seem to be orthodox Catholics, but they don't mistake that as necessitating going around all po-faced and somber.** They have a sense of humor about their religion and about Catholics, especially perhaps the bad Catholics of the title--which is most of us. (Though I personally prefer to call myself a malpracticing Catholic--as in, I do it badly, but I keep at it anyway.) Most of us, when we're not actively commiting obvious sins, prefer coasting along in a kind of happy mediocrity, rather than answering an inconveniently demanding call to holiness; that is (fallen) human nature. The Guide's authors are always wryly aware of this, and they bring that awareness to their celebration of the sometimes weird world of Catholic feasts and fasts (mostly feasts), saints and sinners (mostly--well, we've covered that already). They made me laugh out loud multiple times and smile to myself on, I think, every page.

The book's purpose, as the authors state in the January 6th entry ("Epiphany and Carnival: The Work Ethic Be Damned"), is "to dig into the Catholic past and unearth an unending supply of pre-texts for parties". They do this by laying out the book from January to December and giving plenty of saints and events to celebrate in each month, interrupting seven times to give "executive summaries" of the sacraments. Most days have a suggestion or suggestions for celebration and many have recipes. Some of these suggested celebrations will get you branded as an eccentric by friends and family, one or two will have the neighbors looking oddly at you, and at least one has the potential to get you arrested. Most of them also sound like a lot of fun. Mostly innocent fun, such as the Easter egg fight or the St. Hubert's Day suggestion, although I'm not so sure the glee with which I imagine the consequences of inviting my maternal relatives--WASPy, Germanic types who fight by not talking to one another for years on end--to a Proxy Penance party (see Shrove Tuesday entry) is entirely an innocent thing. And the Guy Fawkes Day (obviously NOT a Catholic holiday!) suggestion is in questionable taste--fun, though.

As for the recipes--from smothered squirrel to Cheese Pascha, from Flaming Spinach Salad to German Honey Cakes for Bears--they sound delicious; I think I may start with the Soft Olive Oil Bread from the Not Particularly Penitential Recipes for Lent, although Uncle Pookie expressed some interest in having the dessert Nun's Farts (which sounds a lot nicer in untranslated French, provided you're not a native French speaker). As befits a book about life in a church that tries to be catholic (i.e. universal), the recipes are drawn from multiple ethnic backgrounds.

This book would make a good gift for Catholic friends and relatives, especially with Christmas coming up. (Do note that if you buy it for your relatives, you won't be able to use the advice about getting out of hosting future Christmas dinners.) There's no need to wait until Christmas to buy a copy for yourself. If you're so gauche as to have reading material in your bathroom, you can leave your copy there to amuse guests who wouldn't normally read a Catholic book--really, who's not going to pick up a book with a cover photo of the Pope making funny faces? Depending on your fastidiousness level, you might want a second copy for the kitchen. Upshot: Highly recommended.

If you're looking for a gift for Catholic relatives whose sense of humor might be missing through inaction, another possible gift is Edward Sri's The New Rosary in Scripture. It's a book about praying the rosary, with reflections from the Scriptures on each mystery and JPII's letter on the rosary. I'm not all the way through it, but it is good so far. Of course, if you're feeling like pointing out the mote in their eye, you could remind them of the Oscar Wilde line about how the Catholic Church is only for saints and sinners, that nice, respectable people will just have to be Anglicans.*** Or, more subtly, you could include a handmade bookmark with the following Hilaire Belloc verse:

Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine,
There’s always laughter and good red wine.
At least I’ve always found it so.
Benedicamus Domino! ****


-------------------------------------


*I grew up among Baptists who, no matter how fun-loving people they might be in general, tended to be utterly humorless when it came to religion (their own, anyway; I recall a couple of Methodist jokes); laughter anywhere around the subject of religion would be interpreted as laughing at it, and any kind of pleasure other than hymn-singing (with body held very still, so no one would think you were dancing) was banished from both church and heaven, as far as I could tell. Frankly, after that I've always found a little light-heartedness--even irreverent lightheartedness--much preferable. (Please, please, note I am not slamming Baptists, only reporting my own impressions as a young person. I once heard a Catholic priest say that Baptists are some of the best friends Catholics have on the pro-life front, and I really do think we Christians and religious Jews need to make common cause against a culture--or cultures--that would destroy us all. Also, as these were white Baptists and their church-going behavior did not even match that of Baptists in predominantly black Baptist churches right across town, I see no reason to think they were representative of Baptists everywhere.)

**Actually, I seem to recall reading a snippet from St. Thomas Aquinas, in which he said that being humorless and cheerless could, at least in some cases, be considered a sin, as it pointlessly makes your company a trial to others. Anyone know the quote?

***No offense intended toward Anglicans. From what I've heard, you guys have done a much better job of hanging on to traditional church music than we have.

**** "Let us bless the Lord!" is the translation I've seen, but I think we can use the more Bible Belt-friendly, "Praise the Lord!" I await correction by Latin scholars, if any is needed.

Random Thoughts

***
Does anyone ever refer to the largest box of condoms as the family pack?

***

You have to wonder about the elven economy. They seem to be more into frolicking than into the whole Protestant work ethic thing or building factories, or even doing much in the way of cottage industries. Where do they get their stuff? My theory is they go to the dwarves for most non-food items, but the dwarves aren't going to give things away, so what do the elves barter with? UP suggests dwarves pay the elves not to frolic near them, but that would suggest an extortion economy that doesn't seem very Tolkien-esque.

***

I wish even half the people who claim to be worried about the decline of mom and pop stores, would spare some concern for the decline of the mom and pop family.

***

When we see a shamrock we're reminded of St. Patrick (or Ireland followed by St. Patrick's Day festivities), but I think St. Patrick would prefer we were reminded of what he used it to illustrate--the Trinity.

***

It's good for adults occasionally to watch teen romance-focused programs--good, because it reminds us of how very glad we are to be past all that angst.

***

It's even better for married people of the 35 and up crowd to listen to their same age single friends talk about dating. Nothing makes you appreciate being married quite like hearing about what it's like starting your evening out being scrutinized by a gimlet-eyed nine year-old who thinks you're trying to usurp his daddy's place or how hard it is to find any man over 35 who isn't an eternal bachelor, a freak, or heavily involved with his ex-wife.

***

It's a little odd that on all those crocheted cross bookmarks little old ladies make (or used to make?) you have to turn the cross upside down to use them.

***

Funny misspelling I saw: for expatriate, "ex-patriot". Well, I guess some expatriates are ex-patriots.

***

Maybe I'm sophomoric, but there's something bordering on hilarious about the idea of The Reader's Digest Bible. Wikipedia says it cut 55% of the OT and 25% of the New. No word on whether it was conveniently sized to fit on the back of the toilet.

***

Flaws can produce benefits. Thanks to being absent-minded and (since adulthood) near-sighted, I've read many amusing signs, seen a "unicorn" in a field with goats, and learned what cinnamon tastes like on lettuce.

***

What if you spent your whole life trying to "find yourself" only to discover that you're just not that interesting? Wouldn't you wish you'd spent that time trying to find Truth--or Beauty, or God, or even other people?

***

What exactly is WRONG with vacuuming in a dress and pearls?

***

All too often when reading the news these days, I'm reminded of Chesterton's The Flying Inn; it's not a great novel (Chesterton's fiction is inferior to his nonfiction and this is not his best) but a story about Islamic sensibilities/law being sneaked into a Western country stealthily, bit by bit, seems kinda relevant nowadays.

***

Jack Chick puts out some pretty hateful and inaccurate literature about my religion, yet I have never had the urge to riot in the street, march around with placards that say "Behead those who insult Catholicism", or shoot any of their distributors. Nor, as far as I can tell, have any other Catholics.

***

Recently a mother and father in Maine tied up and kidnapped their nineteen year-old daughter, allegedly to force her to have an abortion. Whatever happened to parents threatening their young daughters with simple homelessness if the girls don't abort the illegitimate grandchildren? The Maine couple had duct tape and a gun in their car. Oh brave, new world that has such people in it!

Knitting Rhymes,Old and New

Uncle Pookie has had to be away a lot this week, and I have trouble sleeping without him, so I pulled out my homemade knitting needles to learn to knit with. Night before last I learned the double cast on and the knit stitch with the help of the wonderfully clear instructions at KnittingHelp.Com. Last night I learned to purl--badly; KnittingHelp made it very clear, I was just clumsy in my execution. Tonight when I tried practicing it again, I was actually worse at it, and I wondered if a purl rhyme might help.

I already knew the traditional rhyme for the knit stitch

In through the front door,
Once around the back,
Peek through the window,
And off jumps Jack!

This is for English knitting. KnittingHelp/Amy Finlay modified that, to make a Continental knit stitch rhyme:

In through the front door,
Up over the back,
Peek through the window,
And off jumps Jack!

I've enjoyed reciting that one many times already, and I think rhymes can help people learn.

Googling for a purl rhyme I came across a few knit rhymes, all slight variants on that first one I gave, except for this one:

Jack goes in,
Puts on his scarf,
Comes back out,
And takes it off.

As for purl rhymes, I found the generic knitting rhyme

Under the fence,
Catch the sheep,
Back we come,
Off we leap!

It's generic because it can be used for either knit stich or purl. I also found the similar

In front of the fence,
Catch the goat,
Back we go,
Jump off the boat!

I don't like this one. Not only is it similar and generic, I can't figure out what the goat's doing on the boat--I mean, really, what's going on on that boat that they need a goat and a fence and why would it drive someone to jump off?

The only purl-specific rhyme I found was the charming

Down through the bunny hole,
Around the big tree,
Up pops the bunny,
And off goes she!

That's cute, but I thought the second line made it sound a bit more suited to English knitting, so I decided I'd make my own. My wanting to emphasize the backwardness of purling, led me to start off with "In through the backdoor", which I'm afraid stalled me for a bit, as I have a somewhat soiled mind, and that line has, well, connotations. But here's my Continental purl rhyme:

In through the back way,
Then rope the hog,
Back out the gate,
And jump off the log!

Okay, so it's not actually so Continental-specific as I was thinking earlier tonight--remember I'm somewhat sleep-deprived--and it's not going to appeal to little girls the way the bunny rhyme would, but I like it. It's easy to remember and I think it's already helped improve my purl stitch; I don't know, maybe that was inevitable when I practiced a little more, but the rhyme, especially the second line, did make me slow down and focus on what I was doing. Anyone who wants to emphasize the ease of purling--obviously, I wouldn't--could modify it to have themselves (and the hog) falling off the log. Of course, PETA is probably against the roping of hogs, even in verse, so I came up with some other purling rhymes, involving scarves and wharves and such, with nary a swine in sight, but I don't like them much, so I'm sticking with my hog purls.

I'd enjoy reading any knitting--or for that matter, crocheting or sewing--rhymes, that others have heard or written.

Maybe "Get Over Yourself" Can Be a Koan?

If I never hear another pretentious American talking about "the Zen of this" or "the Zen of that", I will have had my fill. "The Zen of X" always comes down to something like, "I've found that such and such activity is relaxing" or "I do this seemingly simple thing, but I pay attention when I do it, so I'm more spiritual than you non-attention-payers". Yes, yes, repetitive physical activity is relaxing and allows the mind to quieten down and come up with creative ideas; you, I, and our elderly Aunt Edna all know that, but Aunt Edna never applauded herself for it or attribute its effect to a religious/philosophical system she didn't practice. And paying attention to clipping your toenails may give you a greater quality of experience, but in the end, you're still just clipping your nails. And, if I may go so far as to contradict any number of women's magazines, clearing the clutter out of your living room doesn't make you or your living room Zen--the room looks better and it may be easier to be in it, but odds are that while you sit looking at your empty table, enlightenment will remain as elusive as ever.

If I were Buddhist , whether Zen or not, I think I would find it a bit offensive that non-Buddhists think they can become Zen masters just by deciding whatever they're doing anyway is Zen--and coincidentally they can sell books about it to others who want to think their pleasant hobby is deeper for them than for other of its practitioners who haven't bought the book. I think if I were from a Buddhist-heavy country, I think I'd petition the UN or something to stop this. But maybe they're all being philosophical about it--i.e., rolling their eyes and getting on with their lives, like sensible people. They can probably find some inspiration for that by studying American Indians, who've long had to endure Americans of European heritage enthusing about how they're "genuine Native American shamans" because they once attended a weekend seminar on it and got a certificate; selling "authentic" plastic dreamcatchers; lecturing Indians of Tribe X on how to build an X sweatlodge; channeling Indian spirit guides, etc.

Me, I'm not so sensible. I think I may start involuntarily channeling Lewis Black when I hear "the Zen of showering/embroidering/soldering/licking popsicles/whatever". And that can't be good for my blood pressure.

If only I could meet some of these people, I could sneak up behind them while they're doing their Zen thing and whap 'em upside the head. It would make me feel better, and I'm sure, being Zen, they'd appreciate my efforts on behalf of their enlightenment.

Also This Past Week--Two Feasts

St. Francis' Day

Wednesday (October 4) was St. Francis' Day. St. Francis is the one post-Biblical saint that everybody knows and likes, whether they're Catholic or not. Everybody has at least a vague idea of who the brown-robed figure preaching to the birds is. Something a lot of people don't know, however, is that Francis once set out--probably foolishly; certainly in the sense of "being a fool for Christ"--to convert Muslims. Unsurprisingly to a cynical person such as myself, he didn't have much success with that. Still, I've wondered for several years now why we don't ask him to pray for the conversion of Muslims today; I know some contemporary American Catholics now consider it taboo to suggest that Christianity is something non-Christians might want to convert to, but personally I'd think Francis might like having a crack at it from Heaven. I mean, I don't want to interfere with the custom of taking animals to church to be blessed on St. Francis' Day, but if all the non-pet-owner Catholics, Anglicans, and others who recognize St. Francis were to pray for conversions to Christ on that day, it could only work to the good, right?


(Re praying to saints, for any non-Catholics reading this: Catholics believe that it is beneficial for people to pray for one another. We also believe that the pool of people we can ask to pray for us is not limited to those currently alive on Earth, but that people who are alive in heaven can also pray for us. When we pray to a saint we are asking that person to pray to God for us. A saint is anyone in heaven, not just famous ones like Francis whom the Church officially recognizes as such. You can ask anyone you believe to be in heaven to pray for you; for example, the priest who baptized me said he frequently asks one of his aunts, who was a very holy woman, to pray for him.)



Remember Lepanto!

The day before yesterday (October 7) was the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. Why it is the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary may be unexpected to some--it commemorates a coalition of Christian forces, gathered at the Pope's request, turning back the further incursion of Turkish forces into Italy. The Pope attributed the victory to the rosaries prayed for the Christian forces--although I'm sure the soldiers and their weaponry had something to do with it; "trust God, but keep your powder dry", as the saying goes--and instituted this annual feast to celebrate. This was the 1571 Battle of Lepanto, and you can read more about it here and here.

Why I think we should remember Lepanto is that it shows that people in those parts of the world formerly known as Christendom--we'll just call it the West now--can band together to defeat an enemy who does not share our values and who would enslave us.

If you'd like a literary remembrance, you can read The Battle of Lepanto at G. K. Chesterton's Works on the Web here or at Bartelby here. (Although I must admit that, much as I like Chesterton, I have trouble reading this poem's lines about "Don John of Austria" without thinking of Don John from Much Ado About Nothing--another bastard--which rather spoils the effect.)

Of course, it's probably un-PC of me to suggest that we should remember Lepanto, that Western civilization might be worth fighting for, that Christianity might have anything worth converting for, etc. A nice, tolerant person would remind you that all cultures are equally worthwhile--except for ours, which is tyrannical and fascist; that all religions are equally wonderful--except for Christianity, which is always and in every way oppressive, and Judaism, which unforgiveably contributed to the creation of Israel; that only poor, ignorant people would join the military; and that only "prey-ers" would pray for victory or even for the safety of our troops. What can I say--I'm not a nice person.

Some Thoughts Around the Amish Mass Murder Last Week

Murder is murder but somehow it seems even more despicable to target people who may be more vulnerable because of their relative isolation and lack of ready cell phones.

***

Maybe they would have been less vulnerable had anyone in that schoolhouse had effective weapons.

***

Although as a Catholic I can not condone or promote suicide, it is hard not to agree with Dennis Miller that, if you get so twisted up that you fear you can no longer stop yourself from hurting children in that way, that it might be time for you to stick your chin out and "take one for the team". You just need to do it before you go into the schoolroom with the K-Y jelly and the ropes, not wait until you think you're going to be caught.

***

Right or wrong, the people I pity most in all of this are not the family of the girls who were murdered, but the children of the murderer. Even if their mother moves them away from this small area, so that they can be relatively anonymous, I can not imagine how horrible this knowledge will be for them to live with.

***

I don't know the details, but I was heartened to hear in Rod Dreher's good opinion piece that the Amish were collecting money to help the widow and children of the murderer.

***

NRO's John Podhoretz, mentioning Rod Dreher's saying elsewhere he wished to become the sort of person who could stand over a murdered girl and say not to hate the murderer, said that some people we should hate. (I hope I'm not oversimplifying what I read days ago.) Yesterday Jeff Jacoby had a column saying "hatred is not always wrong, and forgiveness is not always deserved". I think both men are failing to distinguish between hating an action and hating a person. You can hate very much a despicable action and hate the attitude or philosophy that led to that action, and yet not hate the person who committed it. It is hard to explain why or how this can be so, but it is. A human person is more than one or several despicable actions he has committed; even the most depraved person still has some human dignity and worth left about him, no matter how much he has done to deserve our scorn, simply because he is still human. We punish the despicable action and we try to prevent other such actions, but we don't have to hate the person to do it--although anger is inevitable and hatred is sometimes thoroughly understandable.

Jacoby goes on, "I cannot see how the world is made a better place by assuring someone who would do terrible things to others that he will be readily forgiven afterward, even if he shows no remorse." And, "The murder of the Amish girls was a deeply hateful evil. There is nothing godly about pretending it wasn't." Forgiveness does not mean we will not punish the wrongdoer's anti-social action in a just way. Forgiveness does not mean we will fail to protect our society from other such attacks, both by that perpetrator and others. And forgiveness certainly does not mean we will say what the wrongdoer did was right. It does mean we will let go of our anger and our resentment against that person; we will refuse to let resentment eat away at us, destroying our lives.

I personally have trouble forgiving--I'd much rather sink an ax in the chests of people who've deliberately hurt me or my family, then (in certain special cases) dig up the bastards' graves and dance on their corpses--and I used to argue much the same line Jacoby does with my husband, who is a much better person than I am. My husband used to tell me that forgiveness does more for you than it does for the person you're forgiving. Age and--please God--maturity have brought me around to thinking he's right; holding on to our anger and resentment may or may not hurt the other person, but it definitely does a number on us. I also finally came to realize that forgiving someone was not the same as saying what they'd done didn't matter, that it wasn't wrong. And THEN I became a Christian, with an obligation, not only to forgive, but to pray for my enemies; nobody who's tried that ever said this was an easy religion.

One place I would agree with Jacoby--besides believing that the murders were an evil, godless action--is that forgiveness is not always deserved. But Christians such as the Amish are still called to forgiveness, whether the wrongdoer deserves forgiveness or not. And we're required to pray for those who do evil against us, whether those people deserve our prayers or not--probably especially when they don't deserve them. It's rarely pleasant or easy to do, but it is a requirement. And what is the alternative--a society dominated by vengeance and inhumanity?

Old Biddies and Mother Hens Trying to Look Like Young Chicks

Women have always had a desire to look good, especially to men, and as anyone who's worked in a nursing home or around old people in a hospital can tell you, that desire doesn't go away with age. It's why you'll see 70-somethings sitting under the hairdryer at the salon and 80-something ladies with a smear of bright red lipstick. But in the past most women aged more or less gracefully and didn't try to look twenty when they were well past forty. They recognized that to do otherwise was futile and a bit silly and they had a term for women who tried, through dress, to look like girls--mutton dressed as lamb.

Nowadays it's different, and many women think they really are supposed to look like twenty when they're forty--or at least that they're supposed to try their darnedest. Fifty is supposed to be the new thirty, we're told.* So exercise classes are filled with middle-aged mothers trying to attain the relatively flat bellies of their teenage daughters, diet books are always on the bestseller list, and info-mercials abound for wrinkle creams and makeup that will "turn back the clock".** Thirty-something mothers sport tattoos, forty-five year old redneck grandmothers wear low-cut jeans and belly-baring shirts to show their belly button piercing, and fifty-something women with breasts not far shy of wrinkling wear plunging necklines--all in the name of looking young. Wealthy women come closest to achieving the new goal of eternal girlhood, thanks to the "miracle" of plastic surgery. But, aside from the sometimes creepy results, look at the cost they pay--not just the money, but the physical pain. Cutting, pulling, puncturing, and bruising their flesh. Burning it with lasers or injecting it with poison. All so they won't look as old as they are.

Why?

The worship of youth that boomed with the boomers, but probably goes back to the Romantics or further. Boomer narcissim. A culture of shallowness. Better nutrition and health care that, while providing actual improvements in appearance and function, may create unrealistic expectations about what else is possible.

But personally I wonder if the breakdown of marriage doesn't have something to do with it. Back when marriages could reasonably be expected to last forever, a woman could age gracefully. Her husband wasn't going to leave her because she had wrinkles. Neither was he going to divorce her because his secretary was better in bed or because he'd decided he wasn't "fulfilled" and the answer must be returning to bachelor life. For that matter she wasn't going to leave him for those reasons, only to discover she's now having to date men her own age who have--sorry, but it's true--a natural, biological preference for youthful-looking partners. Divorced women (and those in shaky marriages) can get used to sleeping alone or compete with college students for unattached males. What a choice. Women were, in this one sense anyway, more secure in the past. So a fifty year-old woman in the past could do the basic grooming that comes from the natural desire to look good and otherwise just let herself be a fifty year-old woman. There's a kind of freedom in that.


*These things really escalate. It's less than a decade and a half since we were told that thirty was the new twenty-one. I guess the next slogan will be "Seventy is the new forty" or "Life begins at eighty".

** NASA should really look into that. Think of the benefits for long-range space travel.

A Little More Food for Thought, Offered Almost Without Comment

Looking for something else, I came across EWTN's Christ in the City, 2006, a series of talks by Father George Rutler. One of the episodes is about art and here's a bit that struck me:

"Every inspiration that is blocked by pride is an offense
against God. There are incalculable numbers of great works of art that never
were produced because of human pride--fear of criticism, the domination of the
ego which wanted to impose one's own desires rather than serve a higher truth."
(Father George Rutler)

Katherine Patterson, a novelist who deserves to be better known among adult readers, has an interesting line in her book Come Sing, Jimmy Jo. The eponymous protagonist comes from a family that performs mountain music and, although he has the family gift in spades, he will only sing at home because of his shyness. Early in the book his grandmother tries to convince him he should sing for others, because (I don't own the book, so this is from my middle-aged brain's memory)

"God doesn't give private gifts."

Recommended Reading Containing Deep Thoughts About Art and Craftsmanship

JPII's Letter to Artists

I read Pope John Paul II's Letter to Artists during my conversion and was impressed by its respect for art and artists. Among other things, the Holy Father said that artists have a special vocation and are needed by the Church, he spoke of history and the goodness of God's creation and said that we need beauty; there's no surprises there, but it was something I could not imagine any of the American televangelists writing.

When Pope John Paul II died, some commentators remarked on how, because JPII's body had been encumbered by age and disease for over a decade, we tended to forget he had been a good-looking, athletic man when he first became pope. Some of us may also forget (or never have known) that he was involved in the arts (actor, playwright and poet) before he became a priest. It may be that his personal experiences informed his Letter. But it's not reflective only of his personal views--the Church has a long and great history of supporting art (if that statement surprises you, where did you think all of those magnificent cathedrals, requiem masses, and religious paintings & sculpture came from?); I think this may be because of the incarnational way Catholicism views the world, but that's a discussion for another time. Right now, I recommend people with an interest in art and craft (obviously they overlap; an interesting question for people who liked to argue arts vs crafts is whether Bezalel and the others God had Moses get to make His sanctuary--see Exodus 25-31 and 35 on--were artists or craftsmen) check it out. As I haven't read it since back then and as I'm now afflicted with middle-age brain (something like what I once heard a pregnant woman call "preggers brain", except it doesn't go away), maybe I'll even take my own advice and re-read it.


Shop Class as Soulcraft

I've only read three or four New Atlantis articles, but every one of them was thought-provoking and Shop Class as Soulcraft is no exception. In it Matthew B. Crawford talks about manual labor and craftsmanship, questioning assumptions that manual work is mindless (a relatively recent notion, I think) and white collar work is automatically mentally stimulating, giving a little of the history of vocational classes and factory work, and thinking about the relationship of craftsmanship and consumerism. I'm probably going to reread it later, to make sure I've gotten everything I can from it.

Some quotes to whet your interest:

"The satisfactions of manifesting oneself concretely in
the world through manual competence have been known to make a man quiet and
easy. They seem to relieve him of the felt need to offer chattering
interpretations of himself to vindicate his worth. He can simply point: the
building stands, the car now runs, the lights are on. Boasting is what a boy
does, who has no real effect in the world. But craftsmanship must reckon with
the infallible judgment of reality, where one’s failures or shortcomings cannot
be interpreted away."

"Being able to think materially about material goods,
hence critically, gives one some independence from the manipulations of
marketing, which typically divert attention from what a thing is to a back-story
intimated through associations..."

"The craftsman’s habitual deference is not toward the New,
but toward the distinction between the Right Way and the Wrong
Way."

"...trafficking in abstractions is not the same as
thinking."

Super-Simple Crocheted Dishcloths

I know there's a lot of dishcloth patterns out there, but many of them seem too fancy or impractical to me. Some of the slightly more complicated stitch patterns look nice and making a dishcloth would be a good way to practice a new stitch, but some designs seem too frilly for use; personally I don't think, say, lace edgings or or a big flower motif belong on something that will be used to scrub dishes. YMMV. I prefer my version of a crocheted dishcloth to any I've seen. It is so simple it would make a good first or second project, and it can actually be used to wash dishes. You only need to know some very basic stuff, it is mindless enough to do even while reading subtitles on an anime program, and it makes a dense fabric with ridges that I believe--rightly or wrongly; I've not actually done any remotely scientific testing of my notion--help with rubbing the dishes clean.


Super-Simple Crocheted Dishcloths

Skill level: Absolute beginner. (If you've really never crocheted before, see below for some helpful links.)

Materials:Worsted-weight cotton yarn, such as Peaches & Cream or Lion Cotton.*
H hook
Scissors and a large-eyed needle for weaving in ends of yarn

Directions:

Chain (ch) 25.

1st row--Single crochet (sc) into second ch from hook and into each ch until end. Ch 1 and turn.

2nd row--Sc into the front loop (that is, the loop nearest your body) of each stitch (st) of the previous row. Ch 1 and turn.

Rows 3-20--Repeat 2nd row.

21st row--Repeat 2nd row, but at the end of the row do not turn.

Finishing--Add two additional sc at the end of row 21 and continue making sc in each st down the side and all the way around the dishcloth, making sure there's 3sc in each corner. When you get back to where you started, make a slip stitch (ss) to finish off. Optional: Instead of finishing off right there, ch 9 to make a loop for hanging the dishcloth and then ss to finish off. Weave in any loose "tails". (Actually, for the "tail" of yarn left from where you made your foundation ch, you can avoid having to weave it in by holding it over the edge of dishcloth and sc your border over it.)


Variation: Ch 27 and make 22 rows for a slightly larger dishcloth. (Obviously, these are sizes that work well in my hand; vary according to your hand-size and preferences.)
Variation: Use an ombre yarn for the main body of the dishcloth and then use a solid-colored yarn in one of the colors of the ombre for the border and optional hanging loop. For example, a yellow and white ombre yarn body and a solid yellow edging.
Variation: Add another row of border sc to the edge, either by continuing around again or by turning and going around the other way.
Variation: After the first row, make a normal sc--i.e., sc in both loops--for the first two and last two stitches of each row. This makes the ridge you get from crocheting in only the front loop not start at the edges. It looks nice, but because the yarn twists to go from the normal sc to the front-loop-only sc, you will have a bit of fabric all round the edge that feels a bit harder than the main fabric or the edging.
Variation: Use your imagination! Crochet is easy to frogstitch, so if you start something and don't like it, just pull it loose and start over--no yarn wasted.


*(Actually, you can use cheap acrylic yarn, such as Red Heart, for dishcloths if you want; acrylic yarn dries quickly--always a plus in a humid kitchen--and I'm not aware of any health reasons against it. Cotton is the standard, though.)

- - - - -
If you've never crocheted before, Lion Brand Yarn's Learn to Crochet pages have some good, basic help to get you started. (You may have to subscribe to the site to see this site nowadays, but subscription is free and you then have access to lots of free patterns.)

If you want to see someone doing these things, Stitchguide.com (now subsumed into Annie's Attic) has short Quicktime videos. See
Chain ,
Single crochet ,
Crocheting into front loop only ,
Slip stitch ,
and Color change .

A Feast Day and a Book Recommendation

Today is the feast day of St. Maximilian Kolbe, who was executed by the Nazis. Maximilian Kolbe was a Polish Franciscan who led an interesting life, including founding a monastery in Nagasaki, before he ran afoul of the National Socialists and ended up in Auschwitz. At Auschwitz, when ten prisoners were selected for death by dehydration and starvation in retaliation for an escape, Maximilian Kolbe voluntarily took the place of one of the selected, because that man was married with children. You can read more of his inspiring story here and here.


This is a good place for a book recommendation I've been meaning to make: When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit, by Judith Kerr. I came across this three or four weeks ago while looking for another book in the juvenile Ks. I'd never heard of it before, but I was intrigued by the title and took it home. It turned out to be better than what I'd been looking for. (Escape to Witch Mountain, FWIW.) The book is written for children, but it never talks down to them and is such a well written account of refugee life that it will appeal to adults. Briefly, it is about a little German girl named Anna, whose father is a prominent writer who opposes the Nazis. On the eve of Hitler's being elected to power, they leave the country before their passports can be taken and Dad imprisoned; they think they will be able to go home again but are soon disabused of this idea. The story is about how the family must adapt to refugee life, first in Sweden (where at least they speak the same language) and then in Paris. In addition to language and cultural problems, the family must for the first time learn to get along with little money and no housekeeper. Their situation may be rooted in a particular historical time, but their efforts to make a life in a new and strange place could apply to people in many different situations and time periods. The details of the way they adapt will interest a variety of people; personally I found the process of language acquisition especially interesting. It all rang very true to life, possibly because the story was at least partly autobiographical. I also liked the illustrations; in fact, the only thing I think isn't particularly good about the book is the title, but I suppose that has the virtue of making people notice it.

For the "Knitting in Fiction" file, there's an amusing passage where the mother, who'd never been trained in any kind of housewifely arts, tries to knit a sweater to save money. She knits very tightly, stabbing the wool with the needles so that every stitch is an attack. (It sounds like the way Akane Tendo cooks.) The final result is a functional sweater, but one that looks as if it's made of tweed.

Anyway, the ISBN is 0698115899. It was originally published in the early 1970s and reissued in 1997 and seems to be in print, so I encourage people to buy it or look for it at the library. Caution to people buying the book for young children: Although the focus is refugee life, there are a couple of bits that could (and should) be upsetting. The suicide of a gentle, harmless family friend is touched on briefly, but it is given in such terms that many small children would not understand what had happened, only that the poor man had died. The most disturbing part of the book is when Anna overhears the story of a distinguished professor who was chained up and driven mad by the Nazis. It disturbed her and it should disturb everybody. May God have mercy on us all for allowing such things to happen.

(Now I think of it, maybe it's not coincidence that the Divine Mercy chaplet came into being in the 1930s.)

Random Thoughts

***
Two words you never want to hear together: creative cruelty.

***
I once read that Jews have a Yiddish term that means "a shame to the goyim" to describe Jews who disgrace themselves publically in such a way that it could make all Jews look bad. It's long past time Christians had such a term for those who make us look bad to non-Christians.

***
Although I like patriotism, I've sometimes found myself sitting at redlights, staring at the automobile ahead of me and wondering what good those magnetic Support Our Troops ribbons do for anyone other than magnetic ribbon manufacturers. And I think I've figured it out. The War on Terror (more accurately, the War on Islamofascism) is as much a war of ideas as of bullets, and "American fighting men deserve our support" is an idea--not the largest idea in the war, but an idea nevertheless. Good on those people who propagate that idea for everyone to see.

****
Can't we as a nation agree that we've heard far too many jokes about prostate exams and encourage comedy writers to move on?

****
Why did we need a law against taking a minor across state lines for an abortion without parental permission? I thought it was illegal to take a minor across state lines without parental permission for ANY reason.

***
One result of making the morning-after pill available OTC that no one mentions is that stores would have a new high-theft item to worry about; people (teenagers, presumably) already steal condoms surprisingly frequently. But I guess theft is low on the list of potential problems.

***
I saw a teenaged boy at mass wearing brown corduroy slippers. Maybe he thought if girls can get away with wearing pajama pants all over town, there's no reason he shouldn't wear bedroom slippers in public.

***
There's something mildly odd about turning over an "I <3 America" product and seeing a "Made in China" sticker. We can't even make our own patriotica?

***
Being "heteronormative" is like being right-handed normative, only even more so, as there's a lot more left-handed people than there are homosexual people. I see protest potential--lefties, start those protests at the scissor companies and the letter-writing campaigns against people who use "right hand man" as a compliment. Oh, and against all churches that use the Apostles or Nicene creed.

***
The Three Investigators (children's series book characters) had the perfect (late) childhood setup. But the series was also very much a boy's fantasy. Does that mean the perfect childhood is a boy's childhood?

***
Brenda Ueland (or was it Natalie Goldberg?) said writers expect more from the most peewee of efforts than any other artists-craftsmen. I think sometimes we religious folk are like that--we expect a continuous supply of enormous blessings when we're barely willing to give God a few minutes at the end of the day.

***
Re Jonah Goldberg's "Welfare Kings" article: As disgusting as our current state of farm subsidies may be and as nice as it might be to give Third World a chance to prosper (see sixth paragraph), I can't help but think it would be unwise to leave much of our food production to others.

***
I know it's good to pray for peace and all, but given that war is one of the things there is a season for (Ecclesiastes 3), sometimes it makes more sense to me to pray for the strength to do what needs to be done.

***
At the bookstore I saw a boy of about eight dressed in a shirt at least two sizes too big, denim shorts with the crotch hanging down to his mid-thigh, and large athletic shoes--and I couldn't tell if he was dressed that way because his parents were poor and a bit neglectful or if they'd voluntarily paid good money to have him dressed like an urchin.

A Little of What I Like and Hope to Like

Some years back, after rather too much time spent in a library (hard as it is to believe such a thing is possible), I asked my husband, "Does it mean there's something wrong with me that I can't read much literary criticism without feeling sick to my stomach?" His answer: "It means you're a normal person."

But writing about books can be very worthwhile, when it's actually about the book, rather than the author's pet political theory or his desire to sound impressive. I think writing about books is most useful when the author gets us to notice something in the work we wouldn't have otherwise. Case in point: Recently I pulled out my Bevington Shakespeare to look up something in As You Like It, and I looked at the introduction. I've read AYLI many times over the years, but Bevington showed me something in the Ages of Man scene that I'd never noticed.

Jaques gives his speech, dividing the life of man into seven stages. In the sixth, the formerly vigorous man has shrunken muscles and his voice is becoming childish again. And that stage is succeeded by the helplessness of extreme old age, when we become "sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." That final line, delivered by a really good actor, is devastating. But Bevington points out something I'd never noticed: that line is immediately followed by Orlando coming in supporting the old Adam, bringing the old man to food and rest before he would take any himself. Adam is moving rapidly toward the seventh age of man, but he is clearly not "sans everything", because there is human kindness and love working in the hearts of the people around him. Something to think about.


Speaking of AYLI, I just found out not more than a couple of months ago that Kenneth Branagh is releasing a movie version of AYLI later this year. How I missed hearing about it until production was complete, I don't know, but it was welcome news (all the more so because it came at a time when it seemed every headline was about the government doing something incredibly stupid, some celebrity saying something unpatriotic or blasphemous, or some technological "advance" that threatens to chip away the foundation of what it means to be human.) AYLI is one of my very favorite plays, and I have high hopes for this production. For one thing, I loved some of Branagh's previous films; for another, I like Kevin Kline; and for a third, Branagh has brought some Japanese elements into this production and, true-dyed Westerner though I am, I am fond of many things Japanese. Also I like the movie poster; a good movie poster doesn't guarantee a good movie, but it never hurts ticket sales and I'm hoping in this case it shows attention paid to quality throughout.

(Does "true-dyed" count as one of those portmanteau terms Tweedledee and Tweedledum talked about--encompassing both "true blue" and "dyed-in-the-wool"? Either that or I'm just linguistically awkward.)

Random Thoughts

***
The lefty/progressive slogans about how "the personal is political" and we should "think globally, act locally" have nothing on Christianity, which holds that everything we do has eternal consequences in the way it affects our souls.

***
The now-old joke about the gene pool needing a little chlorine is only funny until you ask yourself who'd get to administer the chlorine.

***

There's a lot of talk about how women find it easier to talk about their feelings, to say "I love you", and so on. But really, when it comes to love, isn't it easier for anyone to say it than it is to show it with concrete actions. There's a reason we have the expression "talk is cheap".

***

It's amazing how the visual media penetrate our thoughts. Recently I reread Emma and the whole time I was reading I was picturing the blonde girl (Gwyneth Paltrow?) on the poster from the movie of a few years back--and I never saw that movie! I can't even remember how my former mental Emma looked.

***

I saw a TV ad telling men they could enter their girlfriend, wife, or sister in an amateur pole dancing competition. Whatever happened to men wanting the women in their lives to be protected from that sort of thing?

***
Someone I read once suggested that many of the angry young Islamic men have a bit of an inferiority complex about how the West is so technologically advanced and prosperous while the Islamic Middle East, once more advanced, is not. Sounded a little iffy, but recently I wondered if he might be right when I saw an article about how there's a youth fashion in Palestine for copies of US military clothes. We might be hated there, but the US military is seen as strong and the young Palestinian men wish to be seen as strong too.

***

Hippie-esque slogans to the contrary, "going with the flow" is not necessarily a good thing. Tissue in a toilet goes with the flow. So does your dropped cell phone, your earring, etc. And I, for one, don't want to go where they're going.

***

Have you ever noticed that a lot of the things that say "for mature audiences" would be more accurately labeled "for sophomoric audiences" or "for adolescent male audiences"?

***

I've said in the past that I suspected the sexual revolution was won by dirty old men. Maybe it's more accurate to say it was won by loutish young men--there's a lot more of them.

***

One for the Wendy Shalit women who choose to wear slit skirts but frantically grab and hold the slits together when a wind comes by files: UP saw a woman wearing low-rise pants with a tattoo on her lower back repeatedly trying to pull her pants up.

***

I have to wonder about the motives of the young men wearing pants that sag to show their underpants band. Is the fact they're designer underpants supposed to impress anybody? I'd be more impressed if they knew how to pick out pants that fit.

***
Although the line in my last post is the best line I've heard recently, this from Thomas Sowell's column at Townhall.com today is worth repeating:

"If cease-fires actually promoted peace, the
Middle East would be
the most peaceful region on the face of the
earth..."

Best Line I've Heard Lately and Why

I watched Spanglish last week. I saw a couple of good reviews of it when it came out, but I never would have watched it then because it had Adam Sandler and because I figured it was likely another "Americans bad, Mexicans good" thing. But recently my husband wanted to see 50 First Dates and having, to my surprise, enjoyed it, that got rid of the first objection and I was willing to try Spanglish. (As to the second objection, there is a little of that in there, but not enough to offend even me; I thought if was more that the mother wanted to be the one who exercised influence over her daughter, not so much that America is bad.) Turns out it is pretty good, as those reviews said.

The line I mention comes in when the self-centered, selfish wife of Sandler's character has moved on to out and out adultery. Her mother guesses and tells her that if she keeps on doing what she's doing, she will lose her husband. She says a few more, needed-to-be-said lines, and turns to leave. Daughter says something like, she could always count on her to make her hate herself. Mother turns, comes back, and says gently, "Honey, lately your low self-esteem is just good common sense."

That gave me my only LOL moment in the film, and it was a good long one. See, I've been waiting for someone to say something like that for a long time now. The high self-esteem brigade would have us believe that all people should feel good about themselves all the time. But I don't think so. If you're cheating on your spouse, neglecting your children, or running con jobs on elderly pensioners, then I don't think you should feel good about yourself. If you're stealing money from your company or stealing gas from the local gas station, you've earned your low self-esteem. If you're lying to your spouse about your spending habits or to your significant other about where you spent the weekend, that niggling sense of guilt is a healthy thing, not a sign you need a self-esteem workshop. Guilt, disappointment in ourselves, or just generally feeling bad about ourselves are often deserved feelings. And they can and should be spurs to help us repent and do better.

Of course, I'm not suggesting we should hang on to those feelings after they've passed their usefulness. It is natural to have some regrets over past misdeeds, but once we have repented and done our best to correct the problem, we should let it go. Jesus didn't say to the woman taken in adultery, "Go and wallow in guilt", he said, "Go and sin no more."

Sign of the Times

Out in Los Angeles some members of an Hispanic street gang are being tried for hate crimes for allegedly conspiring to kill blacks. Here's part of their defense:

Defense attorney Reuven L. Cohen told jurors last week that one of
the slayings cited in the charges — the 1999 shooting of Kenneth Wilson — was
not a hate crime but "a simple gang killing committed out of boredom."

See, they didn't kill him because they hated him, they killed him because they were bored.

Oh, well that's a relief.

Wait--no it's not. I'd rather live sandwiched between a family of KKK members and another of Louis Farrakhan's followers than have even one person on my block who's decided that murdering fellow human beings is an acceptable solution to the problem of boredom. Really. The latter is clearly the more dangerous. The racists might hate me (or other people on the block), but they probably don't hate enough to kill and even if they do, it will likely take some grievance, real or imagined, to set them off. With the murder-to-alleviate-boredom guy, everyone on the block is in danger every time there's nothing good on TV.

In a sane society "I killed him because I had nothing better to do that day" could not be considered a defense--no way, no how.

Random Thoughts

***
If tailors/manufacturers can put inside pockets in men's jackets, why not in women's jackets? They can't even use the excuse of "ruining the lines", the way they do with pants & skirts, because 1.) it doesn't ruin the lines on men, and 2.) it would be less likely to do so on us as women are already more "lumpy" in that area than men.

***

Here's something you rarely see: men in kilts riding bicycles. The question is, is it really something we want to see--and I'm asking that as a lover of kilts. (FWIW, this crossed my mind while watching Hamish Macbeth, a program set in Scotland.)

***

Uncle Pookie and I watched PBS' American Masters program on John Wayne and John Ford. While they were talking about The Quiet Man, one of the men commenting said that, by that time, Ford was aiming for a transparent style; if a shot didn't work for the characters or the story, he didn't want it. I like that. It shows a humbleness before the story that is admirable.

Not that Ford the man was all that humble. I think it's often the case that good or great artists become larger men while making their art than they are in their personal lives.

***

I know our cat only "cared" out of self-interest, but it's still kind of (sorta, almost) sad that no one cares anymore when I open a can of tuna. No one wants to drink the tuna water, either.

***

Like many Americans, I enjoy English accents, but with age I'm finding the more I hear Irishmen speak, the more I prefer an Irish accent. At least on men. There's something sexy about real Irish accents (as opposed to those TV leprechaun ones) coming from a man.

***

Modern people are supposed to be so much more sophisticated than previous generations because our fictional heroes always have faults--i.e. we're too sophisticated to believe in unmitigated goodness. But we're also the people who increasingly hold that the Founding Fathers were complete scum because some of them owned slaves. So...we're sophisticated enough to believe that heroes must have some fault, else they're not really believably human, but we're not sophisticated enough to believe that otherwise great--even good--men may have moral failings.

***

I don't know why the wearing of casual dresses ever fell in favor, especially in hot, humid climates. I found an attractive olive denim shirt dress at the thrift store a few months ago and, man, is it easy to wear. Just pull one garment out of the closet, put it on, add some sandals, and you're dressed; there's no matching tops and bottoms, and there's plenty of air circulation to keep you--well, as cool as is possible in a former swamp. Yet most women around here wear pants or shorts all summer.

***

You know what I'd like to see? A kimono made of a red plaid--something like the design you used to see on metal lunchboxes, maybe--worn with a black obi. Let the cross-fertilization of cultures accelerate!

***

I saw the practice of medicine referred to as a white collar job. I guess it is, yet I can't think of any blue collar or service industry job that has the potential to get you so nastily dirty as doctors sometimes get while pursuing their job.

***

If a religious group promoted the wearing of hobble skirts, they would rightly be denounced as oppressive to women, but if designers or fetishists promote it, somehow it's all about fun, fashion, and freedom.

***

I like the word "pop" a lot more when it's the onomatopoeic word than when it's the shortening of "popular", though I know a lot of people wouldn't understand that. (FWIW, I don't like it at all when it's the word for soft drinks, but that's just a regional prejudice.)

***

Wouldn't it be great to have a room with all sorts of great words (synagogue, macadamia, gumbo, gazebo, encumber, corinthian, biofuel, fustilugs, provender, ...) decorating the walls? There's some delicious words here: http://www.myfavoriteword.com/

***

I'd really like to get me one of those rings the Green Lantern has, but I don't think those weird little men who supply them would give one to someone who'd have to be constantly fighting the urge to form a giant green mallet and whack annoying people on the head with it.

***

I have never seen a woman on the history aisles in any bookstore I've been in. Are we leaving the study of history to men?

***

It is funny--as in sad, pathetic, and frustrating--that so many people in America are so hyper-sensitive to anything that might possibly be perceived as racial in nature, that any discussion of race is strongly taboo. At least any discussion that goes beyond, "Racism is terrible, isn't it?" "Why yes, it is, I was just thinking the very same thing! And what a shame it is that we don't think about how terrible it is more often." "Stereotypes are truly the language of hate." That particular non-discussion we are all allowed to pat ourselves on the back with.

***

Some factoids are just plain fun. For example, just today I learned that 1.) there is such a thing as turtle farms, and 2.) Mississippi turtle growers used to be referred to as the Turtle Mafia. Not only is the idea of a turtle farm cool, my rather dull, tired (tiresome doesn't cover it) day is a little brighter for having heard the term Turtle Mafia. I want to say it again and again: Turtle Mafia, Turtle Mafia!

I Guess I'm Hopelessly Catholic

I saw a bit of Sonny Montgomery's funeral on TV, and as nice as I suppose it is to have important people come to your funeral, a lot of politicians standing up and making speeches doesn't seem very funeral-like to me. Even if they keep their remarks on the deceased (unlike what we've seen at some--if not political, then politicized--funerals recently.) I can imagine no greater honor for my own funeral (or anyone else's) than the celebration of mass. No greater presence--not even a former President--than the Eucharist.

A Derbyshire-Chesterton Coincidence

Today's NRO had an article by John Derbyshire on Lolita, which hardened my years-long intention to read that book into a--well, into a firmer intention. I then, while searching for something entirely unrelated by Chesterton, happened across this essay in Chesterton's All Things Considered. Both Derbyshire and Chesterton were writing near a literary anniversary (the 50-year anniversary of Lolita, the 200th birthday of Fielding) , both talk about a book called immoral by many of its readers and non- or partial readers, and both talk about the increasing tendency of wimpy moderns not to want to confront the truth of human nature. In the Lolita essay, this mostly comes down to the politically incorrect fact that men continue find young, pubescent or post-pubescent women attractive. In the Fielding essay, it's the inconvenient fact of the complete human--that is, the way a man (or woman) may be a bewildering mess of virtues and vices and may commit quite a lot of sins and stupid mistakes along with some good while aspiring to do much better. Both essays are worth the few minutes it takes to read them, even if, like me, you only know Lolita through the movie and Tom Jones through a radio dramatization.

Maybe It Was the Violent Video Games--Er, Cave Paintings?--That Caused It

Here's something from the BBC News (link via The Corner):

Early Neolithic Britons had a one in 20 chance of suffering a skull
fracture at the hands of someone else and a one in 50 chance of dying from their
injuries. ...Blunt instruments such as clubs were responsible for most of the
trauma. ...

Rick Schulting of Queen's University Belfast and Michael Wysocki from
the University of Central Lancashire looked at 350 skulls spanning the period
from 4000 BC to 3200 BC.
"We generally think of Neolithic people as living
peaceful lives - they were busy looking after cereal crops and rearing
livestock," Mr Wysocki told the BBC News website.

Well, I guess that's what they get for turning to agriculture and sky god religions. Just a few thousands of years before, when everyone hunted & gathered and worshipped the Great Goddess (which worship is proven by their having scratched chevrons into rocks), human nature was completely different and no one hit people in the head with clubs at all.

Polonius May Not Have Been Perfect, But At Least Laertes Had a Father

At a recent library book sale, I picked up some old magazines, including an Oxford American that listed "Drunk on Shakespeare: A Family Drama" on its cover. This personal essay by an Eric Ormsby turned out to be a not-very-interesting account of how his dysfunctional household communicated (or not) by hurling quotes at each other. But there was one bit that struck me. At ten or eleven the author was taken to see his first performance of Hamlet and found himself fascinated, not just by the familiar words put into action on stage, but by the actor playing Hamlet. "Coming as I did from a house dominated by women, I had a frank curiosity about men," he says, and he found himself wanting to imitate everything about--in fact, to become--that man. He says,

"A boy without a father is supremely vulnerable. He has
inexhaustible resources of love and loyalty and devotion. And he aches to bestow
these on some man who shows him what he might, if he is lucky, become. The heart
of such a boy hangs on the smallest of tokens and is to be had for the slightest
expression of regard; is to be had, I mean, passionately, irrevocably, and for
life. And for what? For a glance of interest, a question, an autograph on a
program."

I don't care for the way the writer expresses this, but I think he's telling the truth here. Boys need fathers. Boys without fathers are vulnerable, because they are looking for any man who will give them some attention, some evidence of concern. Grown women can say children don't need fathers as much as they want, but the boys themselves are apt to feel differently. If I were a single woman with a son, I'd be asking myself what kind of men my son is being exposed to, both in real life and in the media, and if I'd want him to grow up imitating any of them.

I Need to Edit My Profile

Our little family unit is down one (auxiliary) member. A few days ago, Auntie Suzanne and Uncle Pookie's elderly cat died during the night. She was with me for twelve years, and the people I got her from said they'd had her five years, so she had a good run. Moreover, she'd become increasingly decrepit, so her death was a relief in a way; we'd have had her euthanised already if we hadn't sentimentally not wanted her last hour or two alive to be filled with terror (she didn't like strangers, animal or human, and riding in the car absolutely terrified her.) But oddly enough, once she was dead, in our minds she went from what she'd been these last months back to what she was when she was before she became unhealthy, and we miss her.

Uncle Pookie most of all, perhaps, as Kitty had become his official (constant, anyway) lapwarmer and computer companion. But he's had to be away a lot this week, and it occured to me one night that in our whole marriage, I've never been completely alone in the house, Kitty was always there. (One overnight post-op stay at the vet excepted.) It's odd her not being here. What am I supposed to do with dropped ice cubes or cereal bowl dregs now?

It's also weird not having a pet. I've sworn for years that, when Kitty went, I'd never have another cat. She was a reserved, grouchy cat who suited us very well, as well as being the prettiest cat in every neighborhood we've lived in, having very soft, pettable fur, having no bad habits, and (until she became old and decrepit) being really clean and not being susceptible to fleas; I have no confidence in our lucking out like that again, and besides which, I'm tired of cleaning the cat box. But I don't feel up to housetraining a dog right now, so I guess we're going to be petless for a long time. Having a husband to lavish affection on, a pet doesn't mean as much to me as it did when I was a child or teenager. But you do get used to having them around, don't you? I can't quite imagine never having a pet again. It's weird enough not having one now.

Quote of the Day

In truth, there is often more independence of mind to be found among those who care most for tradition and have conservative views about society, than among professional progressives adhering to their 'line'. (A. L. Rowse, William Shakespeare: A Biography)

Random Thoughts, Snarkiness, Whatever

***

Uncle Pookie hooked up an inexpensive antenna a couple of months ago, so we have TV again after a little over two years absence. As I suspected, we weren't missing much.

***

Being brave in a single, really bad moment is easier than being brave over years of a more ordinary level of bad times.

***

I don't actually care what people's personal aesthethic preferences are, but I think it is a little odd that, in today's hyper-PC world, so many people think nothing of talking about the supposed horror of having white skin showing in summer or recommending ways to fix this "problem".

***

It's just occurred to me John Goodman could play Falstaff without padding. He's a good actor and I have sometimes thought it's a shame his size and shape limit (I assume) the roles he gets. But now I can't decide if he could play Falstaff or not. That's a BIG role. We're talking, to reverse Eddie Izzard, Scooby & Shaggy level big. I'd be willing to watch him try, though. God knows he could do no worse than Michelle Pfeiffer as Titania.

***


I think Genesis may be the most exciting book of the Bible. Aside from a few short begats bits, it's mostly stories of sibling rivalry (including sexual jealousy), betrayal, love and sex, father-in-laws screwing over sons-in-law, etc. Those kind of things make good reading.

***

Do TV people not listen to what they write? I caught a promo for an upcoming program about Hurricane Katrina making the people of Louisiana "despair"? If they've all despaired, why is there all this talk of rebuilding? Then again, maybe I've not been paying close enough attention, maybe it's only Mississippi--the state that was actually hit by the hurricane--that is talking of rebuilding better than before, while Louisiana sits huddled in a corner, despairing.

Or maybe the TV ad writers are postmodernists and have decided words don't mean anything, in which case, it's just as well I didn't want to see the show, because I wouldn't be able to trust that "Saturday at 6PM" (or whatever) meant what it said.

***

Petty annoyance number--oh, who am I kidding, I can't count that high: Microsoft's "Warning: Page has Expired" thing that tells you you have to click the Refresh button to view the page you want--well, I'm fine with that, but then it pops up with an annoying, triumphant-sounding beep and tells you it can't refresh without resending the information and do you want to retry or not. Note to Microsoft: I think I speak for most of your users when I say, IF I DIDN'T WANT THE COMPUTER TO RESEND THE INFORMATION I WOULDN'T HAVE CLICKED 'REFRESH' TO START WITH.

***

Apropos of nothing, I fully expect to turn into Victor Meldrew when I get a few more years on me.

***

I wish there were some way to lay bets that most of the young girls who now firmly declare that they don't wear pants that come up to the waist and who recoil at the sight of shoulder pads will, when fashion changes, happily wear those things.

***

It's rude to let yourself sound bored when you're talking to people, and I don't think it stops being rude just because you're an adult talking to a child.

***

This time every year for years now I've found myself thinking, "I wish I could go to the New Orleans Jazz Fest, it looks like such fun!" This year, reading about Bruce Springsteen's lame anti-Bush shtick, it was, "Too bad I wasn't there, it could have been fun to boo." And I'm not even feeling friendly to Bush right now.

***


I'm tired of writing "iced tea" when just about everyone where I come from says "ice tea". (Well, that's when we bother to say it at all, mostly we just say "tea" or "sweet tea"; tea is automatically assumed to be iced here, so we serve tea and hot tea, not tea and iced tea.) I may start spelling it without the d. Why not, when I already refuse to write "crayfish".

***

I saw a commercial for some sort of PDA or something, and it enthused about how wonderful it is that, with that product, a park bench can become an office, a telephone booth, a movie theater, a gaming station. Yes, God forbid anyone should have to sit on a park bench and look at a tree or make eye contact with another human.

A Few More Things I've Never Understood

I've already mentioned anti-Semitism, cake mixes, and people who think Shakespeare is too hard to understand and also insist on using nothing but the King James Version of the Bible. Here's some more.


* The attaching of guilt to food--for example, "guiltfree menus" at restaurants or "eat all you want without guilt" advertisements. This doesn't make any sense to me. The only way I would ever feel guilty eating something would be if I were to eat something that belonged to someone else.


* Women who get angry if their husband or boyfriend doesn't give them a present on their birthday/Valentine's Day/Mother's Day/whatever--or worse, get angry if he doesn't give a good enough gift; or worse still (and I've only known one or two women this bad), get angry if he doesn't send the Valentine's gift to their workplace so their coworkers know they got a gift. What are these women, queens demanding tribute? I'm all for men treating their wives like queens, but gifts should be graciously accepted as gifts, not angrily demanded as your due. And in the case of the women who want their Valentine's booty in public, rather than private--how shallow can a person become without drying up completely?


* Women who trash their husbands to other women. Not only is it disrespectful and makes them look bad, but I'll bet they'd have a fit if they heard their husbands criticizing them to other people. Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you applies in marriage at least as much as anywhere else.


* People who date, live with, or marry people they don't trust. Especially marry. I wouldn't want to sleep in the same house with a man I didn't trust, much less tie my economic future to him.


* People who say "I hate water". That's like saying "I hate air".

Viva la France! (And Ireland)

Yesterday Reuters had an article about experts pondering the "high" French birth rate--1.9 children per woman, the second highest rate in Europe. Leaving aside the sad fact that a below replacement level birthrate (replacement level in modern industrialised nations is 2.1) can be considered high in today's Europe and leaving aside my suspicion that non-assimilated Muslims may account for a lot of France's birth rate, I want to say "Hurrah for France!"


I know it's popular among many Americans to mock and criticize France and I'll admit to having repeated some French jokes since the Iraq war (before that my response to friends who repeatedly made those jokes was, "Why do you pick on France? Have you ever met any French people?"), but there are things about France that even a conservative can love. High on the list for me is that they showed some (un)commonsense and forethought back in the seventies about a potential scarcity of oil and built nuclear power plants; it's my understanding they now they make about 80% of their needed power with nuclear plants. Possibly due to more of that forethought, they've offered some incentives to child-bearing and are now less close to dying out than most other countries in Europe. Also I've heard creditable people say that, whatever their problems, the French have done a better job of keeping down the fomentation of Islamic terrorism within their country than the British have.Their cultural heritage--especially pre-twentieth century--is nothing to sneeze at, their language is beautiful (even if a French teacher and Francophile I used to know did describe it as "Latin spoken by ignorant peasants"!), and even people who don't like the French are apt to like their food.

And then too French immigrants contributed to south Louisiana culture. It's not a coincidence that the only feast descriptions I've ever been moved to read aloud to my husband were Peter Mayle's mouthwatering description of the dinner he was invited to at a neighboring farmhouse in Provence and a description of some cross-country walkers stopping for a meal in the backwoods of south Louisiana and, when the proprietors heard they weren't accustomed to that food, being given a sample of everything they had (all washed down by real Coca-Cola in a real glass bottle kept so cold it had bits of ice in it; it's Uncle Pookie's idea of heaven.)


I'm not saying I'll never repeat another "cheese-eating, surrender monkey" type joke, but I'm glad the French are having babies and wish they'd have even more.


Oh, and BTW the Irish are having the most babies. At 1.99 per woman, they're almost at replacement level--Go Irish!

I Don't Know About Its Accuracy, But It's Pretty

What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)

The Traditional PrincessYou are generous, graceful, and practical with both feet planted firmly on the ground. You tend to be a little on the old-fashioned side. You value home, hearth, and family life and love to be of service to others.

Role Models: Snow White, Maid Marian

You are most likely to: Discover a hidden talent for spinning straw into gold.


http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=42&url=http://www.quizilla.com/users/FaerieFriend/quizzes/

Misc.

***

Uncle Pookie's One-line Review of Scary Movie 4: "I gave up staying home, doing the taxes, and giving the government money for this?"

***

FYI, something I discovered when making my Easter dessert: Milled flax seed, mixed with melted butter and a bit of cinnamon, makes a decent substitute for a graham cracker crust for cheesecake; I mostly prefer crustless cheesecake, pies, and quiche myself, but I found this tasty.

I also tried a new (to me) product called Altern. It's an artificial sweetener for cooking made of maltodextrin and sucralose. I got it because the store was out of Splenda in the bag, and it seems to work as well as the Splenda. It's probably worming itself into my cells and killing me even as I type, but then I figure all the artificial sweeteners are killing me, just doing it differently and (it is to be hoped) a mite more gradually than the white sugar would.

***

I found this site months ago, and I can't remember if I linked it back then. It's too big for most of us to be interested in all of it, but I especially like the Insane Projects page; I think it represents what would happen if you combined Auntie Suzanne and Uncle Pookie into one person and gave that person more energy than either of us has.


***

I blogged a while back on the coming revolution in bra technology. Here's something sort of related--a post about the effect of chest shape on bra fit. Do check out the link to the breast augmentation site. It shows why, even with good-sized breasts, some women don't have impressive cleavage.

***

Funny product siting: Sugarfree Honey. Obviously this is imitation honey, but they put the word "imitation" in smaller letters than the rest, so you're apt not to see it until you've already said "what?"

***

Of interest only to people who like looking at old and/or exotic clothes: Oriental Costumes Their Designs and Colors. Lots of plates of traditional clothes; in most instances, you can see the structure of the garments really well.

***

Someone posted this list of quilting acronyms on PatternReview:

FIUF: finish it up frenzy
WOMBAT: waste of money, brains, and timeS
EX: stash enhancement excursion
FART: fabric acquisition road trip
PIGS: projects in grocery sacks
PHIB: projects hiding in boxes
STABLE: stash accumulation beyond life expectancy
HSY (pronounced "hussy"): Haven't started yet
Brazen HSY: years-old HSY

The applications go far beyond quilting. Let "stash" refer to something other than fabric--say, gaming modules or DVDs--and we could be talking about many different hobbies, and WOMBAT, of course, refers to many management decisions I've encountered over the years.

***
I have some "serious" sewing projects planned (not to mention the ongoing PIGS and PHIBs), but what's a to-do list for if not constant expansion. So here's a couple of possible "silly" projects (possible meaning I may possibly think about getting around to doing them one day) I've found.

A free penguin pattern. Uncle Pookie likes penguins and the example ones are awfully cute.

Tea-cozy, with or without irony. I've been trying to wean myself off drinking so much iced tea and, as a tea-free life is out of the question, I'm trying to up my consumption of hot tea; admittedly this plan has not faced a Mississippi summer yet. Maybe a tea-cozy would lend a certain something to the whole tea-sipping experience? If I can come up with a theme that isn't too terribly twee. I remember Sarah Kellerman (one of Charlotte MacLeod's series characters) once made fancy tea-cozies, so maybe a convivial codfish or something in homage?

(Actually, what I really need for my cute little metal pot is a handle cosy. When I asked the clerk wouldn't the handle conduct too much heat, she claimed it was made of a special spage age alloy that doesn't conduct heat well. She may have believed that, but t'aint true.)

***

This isn't exactly a miscellanous, but HAPPY EASTER!

Best Quote and Strangest Thing

Best Quote I've Seen Lately:

In a more culturally confident age, the British in India were
faced with the practice of "suttee" - the tradition of burning widows on the
funeral pyres of their husbands. Gen. Sir Charles Napier was impeccably
multicultural:
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We
also have a custom: When men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their
necks, and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will
build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow
ours."

(Mark Steyn column 3/25/06)

Strangest Thing I've Seen Today:

McCall's 4103. It's a children's pattern for a gi, basic pull-on pants, and what looks for all the world like a scrub top. The gi I understand--lots of children take karate or other martial arts classes--and a child could wear the pants just about anywhere, but how many children need scrubs? And why is McCall's catering to the niche market of children hospital workers when the company doesn't currently carry so much as one pattern for men's basic fly-front, zippered pants?

Random Thoughts

***
Seersucker is an odd word. It sounds as if it should be either an insect or an obscure insult from a fantasy novel.

***

As far as I can tell, my kitchen garbage can has only two states--empty and completely full; I have never seen it, say, a third full. I wonder it it's some sort of reverse Schroedinger's cat thing.
***

I wonder if the most lasting result of my reading Rod Dreher's Crunchy Cons will be that I'm haunted by the term "voluntary quadriplegia".

***

Another thing that haunts me is Jung's (?) line about how everything that irritates us can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves. It often wanders through my head when I'm--again often!--irritated by some petty thing or other. What does my irritation say about me?

***

Community is very important, but any place-based community will have one or two people who just don't fit in and never will. Humans may be social animals who work best in packs, but some of us are lone wolves. In the Renaissance, I would have been that eccentric woman on the outskirts of the village, happily talking to the toads and plants, who, if she were sufficiently unlucky as to her time and place, ended up on a fire. Valuable as it is to bloom where you're planted and to learn to get along with people you might not have much in common with and all that, I have a lot of sympathy for the guy who strikes out for Alaska to be a hermit in the wilderness.

***

I've seen beautiful older women (two famous ones would be Sophia Loren and Maureen O'Hara), but neve a cute one. Until recently. I was watching Rosemary and Thyme and UP remarked of the now 60-ish Felicity Kendall (whom we both know from the delightful Good Neighbors), "She's cute." He's right, but I might not have thought it possible for a woman that age to be cute before I saw her.

***

We often say/think how fragile life is--how one seemingly light blow to the head can kill a cat or a man, a tiny clot of blood can fell someone in otherwise perfect health, etc. But at the same time, it can be very hard to kill a person or an animal. Look at how much effort it took to kill Rasputin or how even a caterpillar will fight when you try to knock it to the ground to step on.

***

Green tea probably doesn't count as a St. Patrick's Day food.

***

I wonder if the women who obsess over dress size would be helped by stopping themselves saying, "I am size 12" (or whatever) and instead saying "I wear size 12".... Then again, probably not. I've heard of women who won't let a friend sew them something, because they would have to buy a pattern in a size larger than their RTW size--never mind that the physical objects, unlike the numbers attached to them, would be the same size. That kind of obsession is probably beyond any help vocabulary juggling could provide.

***

Are more people suddenly saying "if I was" instead of "if I were"? Everywhere I turn this past week I hear/read someone saying "if I was". When I mentioned this to him, Uncle Pookie had something to say about "bundling", but maybe there were always so many people using this construction and I just never noticed until now.

***

Heard from Uncle Pookie: "I don't have a sarcastic bone in my body. My cartilage, on the other hand..." Change that sarcastic to smart-assed and it's a perfect bon mot.

***

Why when we say "martial arts" are we always talking about traditional Asian fighting skills? Martial arts should describe all the martial skills, modern as well as old, Western as well as Eastern. An American recruit in basic training is learning martial arts, yet when we say martial arts we picture Bruce Lee or the kids in the local tae kwon do school.

***

Perfectionism is a more complicated problem than it might seem (saying "Just lighten up!", while sensible advice, won't cure it) and perfectionists often have what's called poor self-esteem, but I wonder if sometimes there isn't a bit of arrogance in the mix too--"I'm too good to make a flawed product or perform badly." You have to be humble to be willing to make a mistake.