Monday, December 13, 2004

Tidbits From the Past Few Days' News

An injured Marine told doctors, who were about to cut off his wedding ring in an attempt to save what they could of his finger, to cut his finger off and save his ring. His wife says she was mad at first (no s***), then felt honored. If Auntie Suzanne's beloved husband (we'll call him Uncle Pookie) pulled that, he'd be lucky not to get cuffed upside the head while I was shouting something along the lines of, "You f****** idiot!" Auntie Suzanne loves every little part of Uncle Pookie--as that Marine's wife probably does her husband--and had rather have him whole than any ring, including her own wedding ring. Good thing for that Marine women have a tendency to be softhearted toward the injured, and that marriage is for "for better or for worse, in good sense and stupidity."

Mississippi blues legend Robert Johnson, dead since 1938, was in the news the other day. Seems he died intestate and, as he was unmarried, his sister got everything. All well and good, until an illegitimate son turned up. Now they're all fighting over who gets two photographs and his royalties. Count this as exhibit number 4,332,481,019 in proving my case that monogamy and avoiding creating illegitimate children simplify one's life--and death.

(Of course this isn't the only post-death "life" of Robert Johnson. Thanks to that legend about his having sold his soul to the devil at a crossroads, he's started showing up as a character in all sorts of fictional stories.)

The British nanny-state promoters are at it again. This time they're wanting to ban sales of knives to people under eighteen, supposedly to reduce the number of knive-related crimes. Well, sure, why not? Look how well banning guns in Britain has worked.

But to be fair another British story this weekend made me smile. Their response to the health mullahs' haranguing them about fat, sugar, and alcohol, is to eat more cake, drink more alcohol, and switch from individual packs of crisps to the family-size packs. Good for them.

Re Kerik having to withdraw from consideration for the post of secretary of homeland security because he may have hired an illegal alien as a nanny and not paid the proper taxes for her services, I suspect many people are standing back open-mouthed at the spectacle of people in government and mainstream media actually acting as if they recognize that illegal aliens are just that--ILLEGAL.

No comments: